Mistakes To Avoid on a First Date

Dating can be a nerve-wracking experience, especially when we begin dating someone new.  You will most likely be very excited before your first date, particularly if it is with some one that you have had your eye on for some time. You may have made an appointment to have your hair done or you have bought a new outfit for the occasion, and you are bound to be looking forward to the event.

It is always important to make a good first impression and that is one of the reasons that first dates can be so terrifying. To help you along the way, we at recommendedpsychics.com have put together a list of basic mistakes that you must avoid at all costs.

Don’t Arrive Late

The way in which you begin the date can have a huge impact on the remainder of it, and of course, on your future with the person you are meeting. Therefore, it is vital to start on a positive note. Showing up on time for a date is one of the most important things you can do. Arriving late will create a terrible first impression and almost certainly annoy the other person. It is disrespectful to them and is sure to create some resentment. If you absolutely cannot avoid being late then be sure to phone or text an apology and then offer a second apology when you arrive.

Imagine if you were stuck waiting for your date to arrive. You will probably already be feeling anxious when waiting for a first date, so imagine how much worse that would be if your date failed to show up on time and had not called or sent a message. In other words, punctuality is vital.

Make an Effort with Your Appearance

Just as arriving on time is important to first impressions, so is your appearance. The clothes you are wearing and your grooming can have a huge impact. The first thing we see often determines the first thing we think, so if you turn up looking a mess then it is unlikely to inspire confidence in your date. That being said, make sure that you are wearing something that you are comfortable with otherwise your date will sense your discomfort and this is sure to have a negative impact on the evening.

Don’t Just Talk About Yourself

While it is extremely unlikely that the conversation in a date will be evenly split, you need to make sure that it is balanced and that you are not just talking about yourself. Make sure to ask your date about him/herself, try to ensure that the conversation is varied and not all about you.

Studies have shown the importance of showing interest in the person in front of you. By asking questions, you show that you are engaged with the person. If you don’t ask questions then it will likely be interpreted as a sign that you are not interested in your date and this will cause them to lose interest in you. If you are shy or unsure what to ask, then think about it in advance of the date.

Furthermore, you should do the best you can to ensure that the conversation flows back and forth. Don’t make it difficult for your date to get a word in. If they aren’t talking much then try to ask them open-ended questions. 

Don’t Drink Too Much

We all know that alcohol is a great social lubricant and it can certainly help to settle our nerves. However, there is a balance. Having a few glasses of wine with dinner can be a great aid in keeping the conversation flowing. However, make sure that you don’t cross the line into drunkenness as you could end up embarrassing yourself. Also, be aware of how much your date is drinking and make sure that you are not drinking considerably more than they are.

Try to Project Self Confidence

While this is very much easier said than done, on a first date you should try to project confidence and to be sure of yourself. Confidence can be a hugely attractive characteristic, but a lack of it can be very off-putting. On the other hand, don’t come across as over confident and arrogant, while most people say that they are attracted to confidence, you can certainly have too much of a good thing.

Avoid Staring At Your Phone

When on a first date, no matter how much you want to check your social media accounts, message your best friend, or take a photo of your food, you have to resist doing so. Taking out your phone, even for just a second or two, can have a hugely damaging effect on your date. When you are on a date, especially a first date, the person you are with has to be given priority over any calls you receive or want to make. According to one etiquette expert, there are only three times where it is acceptable to take your phone out on a date, 1) To take a picture with your date, 2) to show your date pictures of a family baby or pet, and 3) to find the answer to a perplexing trivia question that comes up in conversation.

Of course, situations can arise where you absolutely have to take a call. If that is the case then do your best to tell your date ahead of time and excuse yourself when the call comes, particularly if you are discussing something private. If you do have to take a call at the dinner table then make it as short as possible.

Don’t Talk About a Future Together

During a first date, it is important to focus on the present and on getting to know your date rather than immediately talking about any future the relationship may have. You should never talk about marriage and children on a first date, as this is likely to appear overeager and could very well put your date off entirely. It could also make you sound needy, desperate and unaware of how people usually speak when getting to know each other on a first date. A first date should be an enjoyable and mainly light-hearted experience; if you start talking about having children with your date then it is likely to completely ruin the vibe.

Mind Your Manners

Good manners are always important but especially so on a first date. Basic things, like not chewing with your mouth open, holding open doors, keeping your elbows off the table and so on, go a long way to creating a good first impression.

Equally important is ensuring that you are not being rude to others, such as the waiters in a restaurant. It is hugely off-putting seeing someone being rude to a waiter and is suggests entitlement, irritability and obnoxiousness. If you are truly bothered by the waiter then mention something to your date and see how he/she reacts. If you are in agreement then you could offer to say something about it, but avoid this if the idea seems to make your date uncomfortable of if they object.

Don’t Let the Date Drag On

If you are having a really wonderful time on your first date and you are experiencing an amazing connection, then you may feel like you don’t want the date to end. However, bringing the date to a close is a good way of finding out if the other person is genuinely interested in you and it could save you from investing time and effort into a relationship that isn’t going to work. If your date is really interested then he/she will ask if you want to meet again. If you respond with genuine enthusiasm then he/she should start to talk in concrete terms about when you will next meet and follow up with you in the near future. By cutting the date short, you give your date the chance to follow up completely voluntarily without any pressures of context, drunkenness or the desire to avoid awkwardness. If the date drags on then they may feel they have to make arrangements just to bring the date to an end.

Offer to Pay Your Way

There are no firm rules governing who should pay the bill at the end of the date. While many still view it as the man’s responsibility, there is no harm in women offering to pay, even if the offer is rejected. Money can be a sensitive issue, so be sure that your date isn’t left in a position where they feel uncomfortable and never assume that they will be paying for you.

Dating is definitely a minefield and it is full of highs and lows. However, the aim of a first date is to discover if there is good chemistry between the two of you. Try to approach the date in a relaxed manner and don’t be too nervous, dating should be fun! If you can avoid the kind of mistakes discussed above, then you should be off to a great start.

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